


But I will always be a boy.

by Elpinkies



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: BoyxBoy, M/M, Oneshot, Short, Stranger - Freeform, Styles - Freeform, Transgender, direction, harry - Freeform, harrystyles, louis - Freeform, louistomlinson - Freeform, one - Freeform, onedirectionň, shortoneshot, tomlinson - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-10
Updated: 2019-10-10
Packaged: 2020-12-02 02:41:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20974046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elpinkies/pseuds/Elpinkies
Summary: Short oneshot that came into my mind while listening Nico Collins - HappyHope you enjoy it!





	But I will always be a boy.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!  
I would really apologize for my english in this story.  
Im a slovak girl but i love writing and i really love english language so I just say why dont try it?  
I would be really happy if you´ll write me your oponion for this story. :)  
Enjoy it!

I m not like everyone else...  
From the day I was born I felt something is nothing right with me. How I was slowly growing I dont felt good in my body and now...  
Now I am standing here in front of the mirror, looking at myself in girl dress and little make up on my face. Is this really me? Do I look pretty? Or I am looking like total fool? What would other people said ? What would my family said?  
Some people looks at me weirdly when I put a little lipstick on my lips, they looks at me weirdly because of my long, brown, curly hair.  
But what if I will go out like this? Like if I was really born in girl body? 

Should I go or should I stay? 

First step, second, third. My shaking hand slowly reaching for the door knob. Opening the door and right after, closing them. Turning to the road feels soft wind playing with my hair and with inhaling some deep breath in my lungs, I start to walk right to the city. Night lamps was lighthing my way and people around didnt even pay attention to me. 

Is that good or bad? 

Im looking at the other people. Happy couples, long-term friends, classmates, colleagues and others... Only I was here at the middle of the path alone, spying on other people in girl dress like some psycho.  
„Hey! Sexy!“ some unknow voice yell at me and I stop in walk. 

What now? Fuck, what if he found out i am not a girl and beat me? 

My body shaking from the fear.  
Two hands of someone touch my hips and I decide to stand still. Some very slimy voice starts to whisper messed up things to my ear and I just close my eyes with hope this all is just some dream even when I know its not.  
Why I get out in this dress?  
„Hey! YOU! Let her alone! RIGHT NOW!“ I heard voice from distance and slowly open my eyes. It is my Hero coming to save me ? or I am just paranoid?  
From the dark place where lamp light cant reach came out higher, brunet man in young age. At least he look like that. The guy that was touching me was already gone and I stay stand there freezed with eyes locked on him.  
„Are you allright?“ He slowly came to me and grab my hand so gentle that it let me in shock. I let my eyes move higher from his hand which he was holding mine to his face.  
Gentle beard that slowly grows on his sharp cheeck bones, bigger lower lip then the top, both in soft pinky color and little, longer nose.  
I move with my eyes higher and then i saw it. Big, pure, blue eyes filled with goodness looking right into mines. 

Is this my angel sent from the heaven? 

„Did that guy do anything to you?“ his voice get through me like som electric vibration and let goosebumps on my body. I just gentle shake with my head because I wasnt able to talk.  
„Then, I am glad.“ He smile and show me his beautiful, white teeth. 

Gosh he was so perfect...

„I-I... I will rather go“ I turn around and want to go. I really shouldnt be here in this girly dress with make up on my face scanning this man. I shouldnt be here at all!  
„C-Can I walk you home miss?“ He ask and i slowly look at him. "I want to be suru that no one will hurt you" he added after seeing my shocked face. 

Did he really call me miss? 

I thought about it for longer time but at the end i just nod. So he walk me home even when we walk in silence but it was nice. I felt really safe with him even when he was stranger for him and can do anything to me anytime.  
I must gone crazy.  
„We are here.“ I say shyly with little shake in my voice and stop in walk.  
„Oh“ I heard his disappointed voice. My head stay down and i was little scare to look up. What if he would be the same as that guy he save me from? I heard steps and then saw top of his shoes near mine.  
„Miss, it was nice to walk you home. Hope I would see you again.“ I felt his lips slowly touch top of my hand. My eyes wide open and my mouth went dry. Then with last look into mine eyes he left and I just watch him walked away.  
I stand in front of my house for a little more with little hope he will came back, but I was too naive. 

I ended home. 

Standing in front of the mirror again. Is this really me? Am I really girl? Or I am just playing on something I am not? It looks like me.  
I though of today. That people wasnt paying attention to me, but that guy who almost raped me... But also that angel came and he call me miss... I can still hear his voice in my head.  
But what if he found out I am a boy and not a girl? Would he still be gentleman like he was today?  
I look at myself at a mirror.  
Black high heels on my feet, long legs, thick, little muscle, body dressed in black dress with soft make up on my face and hair let down.  
I hypnotize myself in mirror trying to figure it out if its good or not. I try to figure it out what the fuck am I. But no answer came.  
This is nice but... I hate this make up. Lipstick time from time is not bad but this full face make up every day? No...  
I wiped down that stupid thing of my face and look at me again.. 

Would he like me like this?

My mind came back to the gentleman from today. He is total stanger but he write himself into my mind. Maybe I would never meet him ever again.  
My brain almost exploded from overthinking.  
Then it gets to my head. I don´t want to choose. I like this but I couldnt do this for the rest of my life. Too I would never want to lie about myself by choosing if Im a boy or a girl.  
Maybe I like a girly thing...  
But I am still boy.


End file.
